Perhaps the question would rather be: is it possible to love yourself unconditionally? Since the love we have for ourselves is sometimes tinged with harsh judgments that come mostly from our upbringing, is it possible to forgive ourselves deeply and completely for our past mistakes or those of others and to reach a level of deep peace?
Forgiveness is not always easy. I hope the story I am going to share with you helps you see that it is possible to do it even if it seems impossible.
While watching videos on Facebook, I came across the testimony of a woman who forgave a German who persecuted her in a concentration camp during World War II. During the trial, she ends up telling her attacker that she forgives him, which confuses people around her. She ends up saying that by forgiving him, she not only frees this man, but that she frees herself from the negative energy and emotions related to the traumatic events of the past so that she can finally live her life to the fullest today. Leaving behind her the hold of hatred and resentment that invaded her, she took back the power over her life and allowed man to be able to evolve too.
The biggest obstacle to unconditional love is judgment. The one that we wear on ourselves and also on others. It is only a mirror reflection in fact. What we perceive in others lives in us at that time otherwise we would not even see it. Hence the importance of being the silent witness who observes our thoughts without judging. Meditation becomes our best ally left to train to do it.
If our outlook on events, the actions we have taken, the sometimes hurtful words we have said remain at the first level, we are lost in advance. What if before judging a person, we said to ourselves: “Make sure you’re perfectbefore you judge someone else …“, we would never judge! What if we said this sentence to ourselves?
I imagine that we have all suffered the negative effects of the judgments of others at one point or another in our lives. What we would like to say to the person is: I may be vulnerable and scared. I am acting with the understanding and the tools I have right now to handle the situation. Can you see this? Can you forgive me for my clumsiness? Often we are the ones who cannot.
Unconditional love, however, is only possible through the acceptance of this vulnerability and the fears that run through us. Understand that it is a learning path and that we have the right to make mistakes like the child who begins to walk. Do we judge him when he does not succeed? It would be like associating stages of learning with disability.
We are luminous beings filled with love. It is our true nature. We just have to look at a child in his purity. We are deeply pure as in our childhood except that we no longer see it. We were made to believe that this was not the case, thatwe were imperfect, incomplete and loved on condition that … We took as reality, the limitations of the people who raised us. I would sometimes say rather: lowered.
For my part, when I meet a person, what brings me closer to him is above all his acceptance of the person that I am in my totality. By being fundamentally alike, I also want to be appreciated for my uniqueness. This is true as much in love as in friendship. What if we had this compassionate look towards ourselves above all, the starting point that will then allow us to have the same compassion towards others? We would no longer wait for it to come from outside, from others. We would give it to ourselves.
To know if you have really forgiven yourself, here is a very effective indicator: watch your thoughts and if you find yourself judging someone, it is quite possible that it is in you that the forgiveness was not made. Look at yourself in the mirror and each day give yourself the love that you missed. Surround yourself with the sweetness and compassion of the energy of unconditional love from a loving and caring mother.
I wish you all can reach a state of radiant fullness and love in your being within you. Get inspired by my mandala. He was created in this love. That of my mother and that of all mothers. Mother earth is so generous too!
Love, love, love.
acceptance, love, gentleness, peace, compassion